First (Long) Day of Summer

Oh I had such great plans for today. It was the first day of summer, meaning that it's the first day of Nikki's summer break from school. Kara still had to go to school, but I thought it would be a great idea to take all the kids to the rec center to (wait for it) go swimming!
So here's how it all went down. Kara left for school and one of the first things I told the kids was "Ok before we can do anything, we need to get our chores done" and the kids, who have never done chores before, look at me like I'm crazy. But all they heard was that we get to do something fun and so instantly they are listening. Nikki's chores today, cleaning her room, and finding her swimsuit. She also helped dress Mollie. She got the first part of her chores done, but the second part, was quite the struggle.

This last week before I flew out for work we all went up to Salt Lake so that Kara could spend some time with her family while I was away. I had to pack the bag. This already is not a recipe for success.

Upon my first phone call home while away at work in Colorado, Kara informs me that I packed the bag wrong, and by wrong, she means that I only packed one pair of pajamas for each child. I was trying to save myself the agony of doing yet more laundry. When I was a kid, I had like two pairs of pajamas.  I wore one until it got dirty, and the other one until it got dirty, and by the time that happened, my other pair had been washed. Simple right. Lukas had wet the bed, and I had only packed one pair of pajamas.

Sorry I get sidetracked, and it's also 1 am while I am writing this. I want to do this while it is still somewhat fresh in my head. Nikki informed me that she probably left her swimsuit over at her cousin Ryan's house over the weekend. I had no idea this event had even transpired, so who was I to question. I found a replacement suit, something from last year. But here's the thing. Kids tend to grow, a bit, in a year.

Nikki tried to put it on, and it was a two piece (NOT a bikini) and for some strange reason she could not figure out how to put on the top. She kept yelling from her room in frustration. So what do I do?

Well first off, I'm a dad, so I am going to try and FIX the situation. Nikki is sitting there screaming on one side of the door in frustration, and I am on the other side trying to describe to her how to properly put on her bathing suit top (because I apparently know how it works). She cracks her door and thrusts the top to me and cries "I can't do it." So I try and fix it. I try and put it on her... without looking... because Nikki is at that stage where a dad shouldn't see her. So here's Nikki behind the door and I am reaching around behind the door to try and put her swimsuit top on her because she can't figure it out.

Then when that doesn't work, I try closing my eyes while I walk into her room. Bad idea. Nikki shut the door to keep me out and I ran right into it with my eyes closed.

I finally tell her to put on a T-shirt and I would show her how to put it on by using Mollie as a model. She instantly stops crying, and is obedient. I think she was more perplexed at the situation than anything else, thinking "How is this gonna work." So Nikki comes out, I grab Mollie, and put the swimsuit top on her over her BYU cheerleading outfit. Mollie just laughs and giggles while Nikki looks at me like I'm an idiot. In frustration I take the top off of Mollie and put it on Nikki over her T-shirt. I then proceed to take off her T-shirt through the swim top. At this point Nikki bursts into tears again, not at the action that I just performed, but in response to the fact that the swimsuit she is wearing is too short, shows her belly button, and is therefore, not modest.

At this point I am beyond frustration. I am about ready to launch into an argument about how it is modest, when I flash forward into the future, and see me having the same talk with Nikki, only the roles are reversed. I'm the one crying that it's not modest, and she's the one saying that the skimpy swimsuit she is wearing is perfectly Ok. SO, before I make a HUGE mistake, I just tell Nikki "You're right, we're going to Target right now and we are buying you a new swimsuit." She likes that idea. I think the idea of shopping to any of the females in our house is like some huge chill pill. Kara told me that when we just had Nikki and Kara just wanted to go relax somewhere, she'd go roam the clearance racks at Target. Nikki, being very similar to Kara, took that cue and ran with it. Everyone, and everything was ready in about five minutes. We went to target, bought her a suit, and were off to the rec center.

So in about 8 weeks, I am running in the Spudman Triathlon, and part of that race is a mile long swim. I haven't swam for over 6 weeks, and I need to swim desperately, plus after that last bit with Nikki, I needed some time alone. So I checked the kids into the Kids Club, and I went swimming. They give you a pager so they can page you if your kid is biting other children or eating glue or something. So I swim my laps, and as I exit the pool (after about 20 minutes or so) I see that the pager is going off. Crap, what did my kids do now. I towel off, put on a shirt, and on my way to the Kids club, get another page. At this point I'm scared it's something medical, like Lukas has broken a bone, or Mollie is Seizing, or Nikki has taken over the front office. I don't know. So I start jogging down and when I get there, I open the door, and I smell.... Mollie.

"She Pooped!" Of course she did. That's what she does, all the time. So I pick em up and pay for the whole hour of care, even though it was only 25 minutes, change Mollie's bum, get the kids all ready to swim (their reward for going to the kids club) and head to the pool. As we reach the pool, there is a big sign that says "Pool closed for swimming lessons." Wait, it was open swim when we went into the dressing room. What happened in the last 5 minutes?

I ask a lifeguard and they say all the pools are closed for swimming lessons. I'm looking directly at the zero depth pool with all the water toys and slides and stuff, and that is consequently, void of people. "Even this one?" I ask with a touch of "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard" in my voice.

Yep, even that one. The pool is closed for approximately 1/2 hour.

So I have a great idea. Let's go buy some sunscreen at the front desk, then we can buy Lunch at the cafe (Our rec center is awesome by the way). So we head up to the front desk and I buy some sunscreen for four bucks that's about the same size as a stick of Chapstick. How am I supposed to cover my kids in this? And it's only SPF 30. My kids need like SPF Lead Suit to stop from being sunburned.
I count my losses (money) and head over to the cafe to buy the kids Lunch. At this point we still have 25 minutes till pool time. I look at the menu and ask the kids what they want. Pizza! "We don't have it" the cracking voice of the attendant replies. Nachos "Don't have it", Corndogs? Churros? Burritos? (all of which are listed on the menu. "Don't have it." Well what do you have? "Chocolate Milk and potato chips, and candy." Such Nutritious choices.

Lunch that day was potato chips, and chocolate milk. I'm an awesome dad.

At this point it's T-20 minutes until pool time. We head outside to the outdoor pool and snag a seat. I hand out the food and begin applying sunscreen to mollie. No sooner do I begin then I hear a cry of alarm from Lukas. I look over, and there is the chocolate milk, all over his chest, swimsuit, and running down his legs (I hope that was chocolate). I wipe him down and return to Mollie's sunblock application.
Then Lukas. For safety he puts down his chocolate milk at his feet while he is sun-blocked, but forgets it is there when I begin applying it to his face. Chocolate Milk down, spreading like.... well there's no analogy to fit this situation, spreading fast. I'm done.

Lukas miraculously gets his sunblock on, and I move on to Nikki. She's been great. She's an excellent helper and she even dressed Mollie that day. I did her hair though (no pics, trust me it looks good).
I am then in a predicament. I need sunblock now. I get all the areas that I can, but I ask Nikki to get my back. She just scrunches up her face and says "ewww dad, that's gross." Why thank you Nikki that makes me feel absolutely super. Nikki finally relents and does the quickest application ever, and one that used the least amount of contact ever. I now have a multicolored suntanned back.

The pool opens. Nikki runs, Lukas clings, Mollie runs to the chairs. It ends up being a fairly good day. Nikki goes down the big slide and almost drowns, has to have the life guard pull her out, but all in all a good day, but soon to be cut short. The lifeguard begins coming around to everyone and getting us out of the water, saying they have to check something, which every parent knows is code for POOP.

At this point it's 10 minutes to 2 pm and we have to pick up Kara at 3. I make an executive decision and start the clean-up process. Mollie is dressed. Accomplished but at great cost.

The entire time Mollie is desperately trying to get back into the water, so I have to hold on to a squirming Mollie while I am trying to tie Lukas's shoes, find my keys, phone and wallet, pack up the bag, and eventually move these kids.

Towards the end it looks like I made the right move because the lifeguard is coming around to everyone to inform them that the pool will be closed for about a half hour. I am pretty blunt so I just ask "What did you find?" and she calmly replies "Someone pooped in the pool." And then Nikki, whose curiosity has just been piqued, yells out "Who did it?" Thankfully the lifeguard doesn't answer, but Nikki will not be silenced. All the way out to car she is drilling me, "Who pooped in the pool dad, who?" I DON"T KNOW!

By this time we can't find the car, because I have forgotten where we parked, and Mollie has decided she wants to eat her lunch/chips. She soon gets frustrated by traditional methods of extracting chips from a bag, so she dumps them all out in the space between her and my chest, making a little snack table, where she proceeds to eat.

Car is found, kids in seats, it's now 2:20 pm. When does school start again?

Lukas enjoying "Lunch".

The three amigos.

Nikki's new swimsuit

Mollie working the camera.