Mollie Pooped

Ok so I was going to write a post about doing Nikki's hair and flat irons and stuff, but then this happened. Last night we came back from dinner and Sam's Club (not dinner at Sam's Club, but I must admit, sometimes the free samples are a meal in itself), and the kids had been playing hard all day long and were a mess. So naturally we put them in the tub. Nikki showers by herself and Lukas and Mollie get in the tub together. They're big enough that we don't typically have to sit by their side and make sure they don't drown, more like be in the general vicinity.

Well, I was right outside the door (door is open) checking my e-mail when I hear a voice of terror from the bathroom emanating from my son Lukas "DADDY MOLLIE POOPED IN THE TUB!" I jump to action and rush into see Lukas standing up trying to get away from Mollie and Mollie bearing down and unleashing her load. I grab Lukas as Mollie finishes and pull him to safety. Next is Mollie who is now two pounds lighter. Then Lukas yells out "My Heroes!" which means his Spiderman, Ironman, and Batman action figures, who are now navigating the log infested waters of Lake Holicrap.

Now these action figures mean everything to Lukas, he even sleeps with them. So, I hold my breath, keep my eyes open (because I don't want to miss and have to do it again), plunge my hand into the poop filled bathtub and in one foul swoop retrieve the Heroes (yeah, I saved Batman). All this happened within a period of about 15 seconds. At this point I survey the damage and realize that using whole wheat and organic food really agrees with Mollie. The only problem is it looks like full grown (pardon the expression) man poop. Like seriously it was longer than her arm, and it was breaking up in the warm water.

About this time Lukas makes a realization that Mollie hadn't quite finished and dropped a little tiny turd on the floor, after making a brief but oh so slimy connection with her leg. Luckily we have Clorox bleach wipes in the bathroom, along with Mollie's baby wipes. I wipe up Mollie first, then the floor, then I turn to the tub. During this time my wife is hurrying Nikki along with her shower so that we can move these two into a clean tub.

I survey the damage. They're floating everywhere by now, the carnage is everywhere. Brown streaks and floaties everywhere. My wife equips me with yellow rubber gloves (would have been nice during the Hero rescue, but that is neither here nor there) and I .....(it makes me sick just to think of it right now)... retrieve the bogeys. They are placed in their proper containers and flushed. The tub is drained, rinsed, filled with hot water and bleach. The floor is sanitized, the Heroes returned to their former glory,  and the bathroom, now smells like a swimming pool. Thank you Mollie. Sorry, no pictures.