Wednesday, May 22, 2013

This job is harder than I thought!

Ok so here's the deal, I kind of dropped off the radar completely for like... a month. Not willingly, simply due to my new set up in life. So we moved to Provo, that much you already know, but since then everything is pretty much a blur. For the first week or so of grad school I was computerless because Kara used my laptop at school and I was left with the iPad, which btw sucks to write anything on. I can type so much better using a REAL keyboard than using one of those virtual QWERTY things.

So here I am, I have my laptop again, Kara has a brand new Macbook Pro (better than mine, just a little jealous, but she's gonna make more money than me, so I guess it's fair) and I finally get to blog again.
So here is how my typical day goes.

Scenario A: Wake up and go jogging either at 5:30 or 6:30 depending on the day with my new neighbor Jimmy from California who is moving to Texas for an internship (soon to be replaced by another neighbor). Arrive home in time to make kids breakfast, see Kara out the door, and then pack all the kids in the car to take Nikki to school. Arrive home, turn on ONE show while the dishes and house are cleaned by me and I take a shower and get dressed. Children are completely and utterly entertained. Bathe and dress children. Dressing the children includes doing their hair so that people do not mistake them for poor orphaned children.
Next we run errands, which include the DI, the motorcycle parts store, the Library, faxing stuff (who needs stuff faxed to them in today's world?) etc. Arrive home for some play time outside. Sometimes errands are replaced by a bike-ride. Meet Kara for Lunch at either A: the creamery, B: the Wilkinson Center, or C: Subway on the lawn outside her classroom.
Return home and put Mollie down for a Nap around 12:00 pm.
Lukas watches a show while I fold the laundry, clean my room, or finish up dishes.
At this time I also get some freelance graphic design stuff done, or prepare for the class that I teach that night.
Kara comes home after picking up Nikki. Mollie wakes up, we all go outside to frolic in the grass with our newfound BFFs from our neighborhood at Student Housing.
We then come together as a family and eat a nutritious, well thought out meal with no preservatives or additives, completely organic and humanely treated food.
I then go into our bedroom where I teach my class remotely from my laptop while Kara gets all the kids in bed with teeth brushed and stories read.

So that's how I would like it to go, here's scenario B

Scenario B: 6:30 alarm goes off and I realize that my watch is still set on whatever time zone I was in over the weekend and I am either late or early for jogging. Either Snooze or turn off. Either way, I don't go running. When I do go running, it takes me almost the entire run for my ankle to loosen up enough for me to run like I don't have a stick up my butt, all the while trying to act cool for all the college kids out running (seriously who runs without a shirt at 7:15 ahem 6:30 in the morning?).

Come home exhausted and feel like I just had a heart attack, tell the wife I feel great, never better, totally still got it, all the while knowing that it's just a LIE.

Wife tells me she has to leave early to meet with her professor. Think back to when I did that in Grad school and avoid contentious argument. Kids have nothing to eat for breakfast except stuff I don't know how to make.

Oatmeal is a little runny and kind of tastes like hotdogs. Kids don't eat anything that I cook and eventually have a breakfast of fruit snacks, milk and a piece of bread if we're lucky.  Nikki's school starts in five minutes, we run to get everyone in the car. Lukas needs to go potty. I leave Nikki and Mollie in the car and run Lukas back in (up the stairs, we live on the second floor) while he goes thoughts keep going through my head of DCFS driving by and seeing two children alone in a car. I am a horrible parent. Lukas is done, we run back down. Nikki then informs me that she still has to do her homework from yesterday, or that I have to sign off on it or something. To avoid confrontation I just sign it without checking. Break the sound barrier on the way to school. Drop Nikki off, head home to the mess that is now our 750 square foot apartment.

Decide to try and clean up. Put on Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Timmy Time, or Yo Gabba Gabba (everyone loves DJ Lance). Plan on just playing one, all three are played. Decide to try and get some exercise in because I am doing a Triathlon in July. Load all the kids up in the bike trailer, get on my sexy bike shorts. Hauling Myself and my bike, plus bike trailer, two kids, water, treats, and extra clothes and diapers just in case of an accident. I can go 7 miles before I am completely spent. Come home feeling like I had yet another heart attack.

Kids play at the playground.

Place is still a mess. I go into the bathroom and cry a little.

Kara calls. Is she coming home? No. She got done with class early so she wants us to meet her early for lunch. This we can do. Fuel for me, and a distraction for the kids for an hour. We meet at the Wilkinson center. Mollie loves to run. I don't love Mollie to run. Lukas likes to walk behind me. I don't like Lukas to walk behind me.

Kids see Mom. They are giddy and happy, but at least their hair is combed... Today. We eat. Kara is excited to see kids too. I am happy to just sit. Kids get a donut for dessert. Why did I get them something sticky? On the way back to the car Mollie needs some privacy. She hides in a corner for about five minutes, then comes out with what Kara and I call "Duck Butt".  For those parents out there who have potty trained you know exactly what just transpired. For those un-initiated, just wait.

Mollie wants to run everywhere. Lukas wants to take his time. Eventually Lukas is on my shoulders and Mollie is carried in one arm. Parents who have been there before look at me and smile. Freshman (because only the Freshman at BYU are single) look at me in horror, whisper behind my back, and snap pictures.

Mollie is mad when I take the donut away that she dropped in the dirt (literally the dirt). We arrive home. Mollie, Lukas and I are sticky. Mollie gets her hands washed and is down for a nap. Lukas, gets to watch another show.

Still haven't showered.

Finally get around to doing the dishes, showering, and cleaning the house.

Kara gets home. House is clean. I am clean and dressed (have been for five minutes) and Mollie is just barely stirring.

Nikki plays with friends, I prep my class for that night. Eat dinner, play outside.

Life is Good.

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