Well maybe not really. True they do get you there super fast in comparison to driving, riding, or walking, but it is Very uncomfortable. Seriously, I'm writing this right now on my wife's iPad, on an airplane and I am very uncomfortable. I'm even in economy plus (which I think is just a dumb excuse to charge more money for a seat). It's like here is a seat that is still cramped and will give you a charley horse in your legs, but not as much as the poor seats. There is a definite hierarchy to the plane. the closer you are to the front the more important you are. I mean look who is at the front of the plane? The captain. Whats in the back? The bathroom... And usually me. Today is an exception, somehow I got the third row, just behind first class, but not back by the toilets. Thats one of the reasons why I can actually write this today, because I have a little more room than my allotted six inches of comfort. And really first class doesn't look that much nicer. It never looks like it does in the movies, all quiet with la Z boyz for chairs, sipping champagne that is complimentary. Seriously when did all the complementary stuff go away?
I'm on a three hour flight right now at dinner time and all I got was a little glass of juice that was full of ice. The juice content was probably the equivalent of a playskool tea cup. I was asked if i wanted to purchase nuts. Seriously? I mean not to mock the airlines nuts, but I'm going to anyway, they are hard enough to choke down as it is but now they want me to pay three bucks for them? And forget a meal. Meals are like thirteen bucks and they are like an adult lunchable.
Since today I am dangerously close to first class (and let me tell you I am not dressed like a first class passenger) I was trying to put my bag in up in one of those overhead storage things that don't have enough room for everyone's bags, and I mistakenly started putting mine in a first class bin. Oh my goodness the stewardess was on me faster than a senior citizen at RC Willey on hotdog day. She said "That's FIRST CLASS! Your bag goes over there" and she gestures halfway down the plane to the one open slot that might possibly fit my bag. As I look back she quickly shuts the door to the first class bin to prevent me from stowing my bag there.
She kind of reminded me of that Effie trinket from the hunger games yelling out "That is Mahogany". Sorry ma'am I'm just a tribute forced to sit in an uncomfortable chair for three hours with no food, three dollar nuts and a cup full of ice. Oh by the way, I paid to do this. You're welcome.
Now I fly a lot (like every week) and there are some good airlines, and some not so good airlines, as far as the way they treat you. The good ones usually have animals on the tail, a color in their name, are foreign, or are named Delta. The bad ones have the name that tries to make you feel patriotic for flying with them, like you're doing the country a favor by flying on them. They are almost always delayed (every time on one particular airline, and I am "united" in my opinion on this). And these guys are the ones with the lunchables.
The best airline I have ever flown on is Austrian airlines. Oh my goodness, you know what they served us for dinner? A mignon that was fileted. No kidding. Plus I got like 18 drinks, and not one of the stewardesses (or stewards) had a mullet. So next time you have to take a little jaunt over to Denver (no one ever has to fly there) or DC or where ever, fly Austrian. Plus your kids get a free rubber duck!
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