Potty Training Mollie

I've been putting it off, and putting it off, and secretly hoping that Kara will do it while I'm away on a race. But no such luck. It is time to teach Mollie how to consistently use the potty.

I don't remember anything of potty training the first two kids, because I didn't do it. I came home from work/school and Kara had done it. I was in more of a supporting role at the time. I put Nikki and Lukas on the potty when they needed to go, but the hard part was done, and that was these two communicating when they needed to go, and them figuring out that they need to go, before they are in the act of going.

This is where I stand with Mollie. In Puddles. Four of them to be exact, in our living room. I had a plan this morning, started off by a huge success by Mollie herself. She started by taking off her pajamas by herself (half the battle) then her diaper, and then sitting on the potty and pooping four little turds by herself this morning. My wife was so proud of her that she gave her a sticker and put her in big girl panties to start the day off, which starts me off on a worrisome day.

My plan was to put Mollie on the potty every 30 minutes whether she needed to go or not. It worked the first time, and she actually peed. She was so excited. Almost as excited as she was this morning when she pooped. She was very proud. She called in Lukas and Nikki to show off what she had done. Nikki played the part well  and so did Lukas, both congratulating their little sister on her success.

The success was short lived.

Here we are now, Mollie is back in a diaper, because all of her panties are now wet. I tried the whole put them on every half hour, but I think Mollie was on to me, because she would wet her panties every 25 minutes. So I moved it to every 25 minutes, and she pees at 20 minutes. Her bladder is against me.

The hard thing is that she really wants to go on the potty, she knows how to do it, she knows how to wipe, and she washes her hands. She knows everything about the potty, except for recognizing when she actually needs to pee, until she's actually peeing. She'll get there though, but not today, because I have some laundry to do.

It's All You!

There was nothing to read in the bathroom, except one of Kara's magazines, All You. We got it for free because I ordered something manly like Sports Illustrated, or Home Handyman, or Outdoor Photographer. But I picked it up and I started to flip through it.

One of the reasons why this was the only thing in the bathroom is because I just barely cleaned it and when I clean I usually throw out any magazines left in the bathroom. With Lukas starting to stand up while he pees, and Mollie potty training herself, this is a necessity. Left over magazines are just gross. 

Anyway, so I was flipping through the magazine, and it's a holiday special magazine, and so naturally, there are holiday recipes, and I actually was getting excited, and planning on making some of them.

.

.

What the crap is happening to me?

Seriously, I'm looking at recipes and starting to taste them in my head. Kara has had this talent for years, and I have never been able to do it, until now.  Let me explain, after you have stayed at home for a while with kids, you get real sick of the same stuff over and over again. My "gourmet" top ramen doesn't really taste gourmet to me anymore. The kids still eat it, because, well it's top ramen with a hard boiled egg in it. Organic Mac N Cheese is still better than the other stuff, and the kids still eat it, but in the end it's still powdered cheese over noodles. 

I've attempted multiple other dishes and have been successful at several. I'm good at Spaghetti, my breakfast food makes iHop look like it's run by amateurs (seriously, you have to try my German pancakes), and Meatloaf. But here's the crazy thing. Spaghetti is easy now. Meatloaf is easy. I have the recipe for German pancakes memorized and I know how to make it fluffy or flat, how to give it that little salty kick that pairs so well with powdered sugar and carmelized apples...

So the crazy thing is that all this has given me confidence in the kitchen. Confidence to try new things. I look at a recipe now and I automatically know if I have the ingredients in my kitchen and what I need to buy. I feel empowered, and yet a little bit weirded out.

There was an article a little while ago in GQ magazine (not one of my manly magazines, or a free one, Kara forwarded it to me). It was talking about the new trend of the SAHD (Stay At Home Dad) and how great of a gig it was. Here's a quote from the article:

"Think tech jobs are booming? Visit a playground on a weekday afternoon and observe the newest wave of the American workforce: the stay-at-home dad. He's got flexible hours, the freedom to explore his own interests, a pretty relaxed dress code, and a sweet home office. If you can stomach the sleep deprivation and mild feeling of emasculation, what's not to like?"

http://www.gq.com/life/mens-lives/201311/stay-at-home-dad-fatherhood?currentPage=1

I can completely relate to the article. Later it talks about how ten months into it, he finally starts to get the hang of it (seriously I still have like 4 more months till I reach that point).

Now if I can only figure out how Mollie is potty training herself, I will have a real advantage.

Tums

Mollie loves candy. And donuts. And make up. And Nikki's room.  Today I caught her in my room eating Kara's tums. I knew she was doing something wrong when I couldn't hear her. Silence is golden, but with a two year old, it's also very very dangerous.

I found her with a tums already in her mouth and when I asked her what she had, she just casually shrugged her shoulders as if nothing were the matter, and then casually started towards the door, avoiding eye contact (imagine a two year old trying to act natural, and that's Mollie in this moment in time).

I stop her, and tell her to spit it out

"uh, uh" from a tight lipped Mollie.

Now.

"mnof" ( translation, no)

I plug Mollies nose to get her to open her mouth. She finally makes eye contact with me. The battle of wills has begun. For a full thirty seconds Mollie stares me down, and I return the gaze. Her lips pucker, then crack slightly. It's the opening I need. I jam my finger inside, and fish out the remnants of a red tums.

Mollie is not happy, and voices her displeasure.

Call to poison control averted. That particular phone call comes under Kara's watch... also Mollie.

St George!

I've decided, today's the day I'm gonna blog. Also my wife keeps dropping hints that I need to. So here I go again. Usually an update is in the works after a long absence of blogging. Let's see if I can get you all up to speed as to where we are right now.

Kara is pregnant... still.

I'm at home with the kids.... still

My job on the weekends is slowing down....

Left my laptop charger in Lubbock Texas so I have a total of 1.5 hours of battery life every day because Kara thinks that she needs her laptop charger for her laptop. Selfish

Mollie has begun potty training.... herself.

I hate Thursdays, especially when I have to drive Car-Pool

And Halloween is done and over and no we do not have our Christmas tree up. It would take up half the house.

So let's expound on some of these things. First off Kara is STILL pregnant. I thought the first pregnancy was long, and then the second, and Mollie's was even longer, but this one seems like Kara's been pregnant forever.  I am now starting to realize what it was like for her when I was in grad school. She wakes up and leaves everyday at 7:30 am unless I can convince her that she's sick, or that one of the kids sick (they usually reserve that special treat for her on Fridays when I'm not here. Thanks kids, I owe you a solid.) Except for this last weekend.

Anyway

For some strange reason, the kids have this uncanny ability to sense when Kara and I are going to be out of town... alone, because right before it's time to drop them off at Grandma's house they start vomiting.  I'm not repeating a previous blog post, ya know the one about Kara's birthday (see the blog post around June, the one where I literally start crying during the post). No I am talking about this last weekend.

I have been signed up to run the snow canyon half marathon for like two months, give or take a month. So Kara decided to be real nice to me and make a little trip out of it for just the two of us. We got a room at a bed and breakfast, we rented a Fiat to drive down (cheaper than taking the mini-van trust me) and then the day before guess who throws up on the freshly shampooed carpet? I'll give you a hint, Mollie.

Not only does she throw up but in multiple places on the carpet. We have little vomit patches everywhere. It's like she was aiming for specific parts of the floor, targets if you will. This was Thursday, and we are set to leave for st George on Friday. I'm ready to cry again ( no wonder moms do it so much). Later that night, guess who is also feeling sick. Lukas. Oh boy, it looks like we are about to repeat Kara's birthday all over again. 

But, by 2 pm, guess who's feeling better, and by feeling better I mean is back to " washing the dishes" and putting on make up, and bossing everyone around. No its not Kara, it's Mollie! This means that whatever the kids have its only like a four hour bug. I almost drive to Nikki's school to bring her home to infect her with it so that she can be over it by tomorrow (I'm such a good dad.)

Well, we made it to St George, I ran my race, and afterwards I couldn't walk for a week, let alone go down stairs. We finally got a vacation, and now we're back... And it seems like we never left.