On a lighter note

My wife pointed out to me yesterday that a lot of my posts recently have not been very uplifting, and more along the glass is half empty type of tone. So I think I just might have to change that. Yes, it's been difficult starting this new phase of our lives, and it's come with a lot of challenges, but there have also been some really great things happening.

For Example:

1. My kids are much closer to each other. This is probably due to the reduction in living space. When you don't have as much room to play, you tend to run into each other more.

2. Less Stuff. Some people would call this a negative, but it's really a positive. We've learned that we really don't need that much stuff, especially me. When we first were packing we got rid of a ton of stuff, and since we have moved we have realized that we need even less. I've gone through our closets twice since we first moved here and "reduced" as much as I can. And as far as toys go, if the kids don't see them, they don't realize that they miss them (unless it's a favorite toy.

3. Fewer Ties. Not like family ties, I'm talking actual, physical neck ties. Not that I really ever wore them before, but as I have progressed in my career, I have had to don fewer and fewer ties. When I was working at JayLynn Studios, a tie was required. Now at work I tend to dress more like this guy.

No tie thank you very much.

Of course if I do get a teaching job this all might change.

4. I get to talk to my kids. We all know what it's like to come home from work and be so completely exhausted and just spent that you don't have the energy to do anything. Since I am around so much more the kids really tend to open up to me and we get to have some real good heart to heart talks. I got a chance to talk to Nikki a lot about Heavenly Father, Baptism, Boys (yes those conversations have started, but luckily it's mostly about how gross they are). Lukas cuddles with me more, and Mollie comes to me for comfort. Like while I was writing this, Mollie stepped right over Kara (and on her hair) to come and sit on my lap. Love that.

5. Kara and I understand each other better. This is probably one of the best things. Kara understands how nice it is to come home to a clean house, folded laundry, and a hot meal (this has happened maybe once, but she has gotten a taste of it) and I understand all those times when I would come home and the house would look like a bomb went off, but the kids are happy (this is the norm for me when I'm home). I think that we are just developing a better respect for the work that we have done for each other in the past. 

Romantic Bed and Breakfast stay RUINED!

So, from my last post, you can tell that I didn't do too well for Kara's birthday. But that's because I had everything planned for today. I had a babysitter set-up to watch the kids, and I had reservations at Johnson Mill Bed and Breakfast in Heber (www.johnsonmill.com trust me you won't be disappointed). We have been so excited to go, just Kara and I. We were even going to do some cycling up there.

This morning I woke up at 6 am and went running (which means the alarm went off at six and I got out of bed at 6:20) and for the first time in like 4 months, no pain in my ankle. Yay. Good thing, I have a triathlon in a little over a month. I came home, showered and logged on to teach my class. For some strange reason, the student who I am doing a directed study did not log in, wasn't communicating or something, so I just sent her a message that said we were going to do it another time.

We then let the kids go outside to play while Kara and I cleaned the car before heading up to Johnson Mill. The kids were happy, Mollie ran around with her new bubble lawn mower, life was good. Soon it was time to go. Bags were packed, Bikes on the rack, kids in their chairs. We make a quick stop at the Library to drop off some books and then to SmashBurger for some lunch. Here's where it sucks (not smashburger, Smashburger is delicious).

As I am chomping down on a delicious mushroom swiss burger, I hear from the back seat a cough, and then another, and then that sound that precludes the action of involuntary stomach contractions.

Lukas threw up.

But just a little.

Luckily we got a bag under his chin just in time. Kara read the warning signs like a pro, and instinctively grabbed the Smashburger bag, ejected the contents (Luckily the fries were safe in a cup holder, and my burger was in my hand), and caught the vomit. Shortly afterwards Lukas tells us that he's not sick anymore, so Kara and I agree that he probably just gagged on some of his food. Sounds reasonable enough. We call Grandma anyway to see if she is OK watching a possibly sick Lukas. She gives us the go ahead and we head up to Salt Lake.

We got to American Fork.

Different sound this time. This one sounded like your garbage disposal when it's clogged and trying to chop up everything in it. Kara missed it this time, because it was coming from Mollie. Yes we had two vomitous children, and one having a panic attack because she's sitting in between two puking kids. I don't know who was worse, Nikki or the sick kids. She kept freaking out that she was going to get sick. We let her out of the back seat while we cleaned up Mollie, stripped her down to a diaper, sopped up all the puke from the back seat, and reinserted her in her car seat. Mollie looks at me and says "My Bellybutton hurts". I guess that's a pretty accurate description.

We then head for home.

Does anyone know what a Percoset is? It's a pain killer but it also calms you down really quick. I think Nikki needed one because she was absolutely hysterical (like crazy). Between her worrying about being thrown up on and the disappointment of not going to Grandma's house she was a mess. Every time Mollie made a sound, Nikki took it as a cue that she was going to throw up, and instead of putting a bag in front of her, she just threw a blanket over her head. At one point she asked if we could pull over so she could walk home. "I know the way from here, just let me out and I'll walk!" So I did.

Oh jeesh, I'm just kidding. What kind of a father do you think I am. So we arrive home and just as we are pulling in to our complex Mollie unleashes again and covers herself in sick. It's now Laundry and Bath time. And it's not going to be one of those relaxing baths where the kids get to play. No this is a bath where there are active bogies (floaties) and chunks of stuff. Tub is filled three times. Twice for Mollie and once for Lukas (Lukas didn't get hardly any on him)

This sucks, and I know it sucks because I'm sitting here watching My Little Ponies with three sick kids instead of going off to rest and relaxation at Johnson Mill. Tonight was supposed to be a night of romance, reconnection, and NO KIDS. Now I'm holding a bucket for my kids (oh, by the way, Nikki now says she is feeling sick too.)

Kara's Birthday

Today was Kara's Birthday, and I think I blew it. No I didn't forget completely, I made the mistake of trying to set something up for the week after, telling her about it, and still trying to do something today. So it was like I did half of her birthday today, and the other half is next week. And she has a migraine.

A migraine probably caused by me. So here is how the day went. We woke up at 7:50 am (that's early for us nowadays, needs to change) and I scarf down some cereal before I have to teach my online class at 8:00 am (why did I set the time for that). So due to some bad planning, my wife had to wake up early on her birthday, feed all the kids, do the dishes, etc. I come out during the class break and she is doing laundry. I felt so bad. Good thing I bought her a gift to somehow make it up to her.

So I have to go back in to teach and I finish around 11:30 am. I come out of the bedroom, and see that Kara and the kids are outside. The sink is full of dishes and the clothes need to be put away. If I were a good husband (and I know this looking back) I would have hurried up and finished the dishes, put the clothes away, cooked dinner, and booked a hotel for the night, leaving the kids to fend for themselves (I would not have done that, please don't call DCFS). Instead I just go outside and find my wife (who at this time is starting to get a migraine but does not say anything because she is tough like that). I ask her if she wants her present, she says yes. I bring the kids inside and nearly have to threaten Nikki with her life to get her to come in from playing with friends. She says it is "Totally Unfair" and I have to remind her that today is Mommy's birthday. She then asks if I got her a present too. I have failed as a father.

Kara opens her present which is a set of jewelry that she has been eyeing for some time. I think I did good, not quite sure yet. Nikki then asks again if I got anything for her. Nikki is sent to her room. Lukas then asks what I got for him. He just did it because Nikki was doing it.

Lunch Time.

We don't really want to make lunch, and it's Kara's birthday, so we cut up the cake and eat it then, after singing Happy Birthday (with no candles). Cake was good, but then we decide to head up to Park City for the day to do some shopping (some battery acid got on Kara's nice pants.... yeah that was my fault too) so she needs some new ones.

We pack the kids in the car and Nikki throws another fit saying that we are unfair. We have to have a little sit down talk with her and talk about how when she grows up she is going to want to be friends with her family and that if she is mean to her family now (family meaning her brothers and sisters) they aren't going to want to be friends with her later. I hope she got the point, and she even offered to spend half the day with friends and the other half with family. Its a step.

We head up to Park City, and Kara shops. The only thing though is that she tends to shop for everyone but herself, and I being stupid, let her. I do manage not to wander into Nike, Pearl Izumi, or any store that I am interested in, but somehow she managed to buy me something. She found two pairs of pants that were normally $159 marked down to $6. And where did we find them? Vans? No, Banana Republic? No. Down East Outfitters, yes, the girl clothing store, in the one area that they actually sell mens stuff. I must admit they look pretty nice, but I tried some on that did not leave much to the imagination. Kara liked them, but it seems like Men's fashions are getting more form fitting and uncomfortable. Whatever happened to wide leg jeans and T-shirts? That was comfortable.

WHY WON'T YOU EAT YOUR FOOD?

I wonder how Lukas survives. The child refuses to eat anything and everything we put on the table for dinner. It doesn't matter what it is, he will shun it. We have pizza, he shuns it, Mac and Cheese, he shuns it. The weird thing is, it's just if it's dinner. He eats it if it's for lunch. Seriously, I can get him to eat all kinds of goodness for lunch, but dinner it's a completely different story.

"Lukas time for dinner."

"What's for dinner dad?"

"Gummie Bears, Chocolate Milk, and a bowl of sugar."

"Blah, I hate that. That's yucky."

Seriously, what kid can't polish off their own bowl of sugar. I mean Mollie tries to do it every time we have anything with powdered sugar. Pancakes, Crepes, Waffles, Steak.  Seriously, the kids an addict.
Lukas on the other hand won't touch anything if it is for dinner.

When I was a kid I remember (not too fondly) a night when I didn't want to eat my green beans. To a kid, green beans are liking eating ...... something really gross. Like.... cooked carrots (it's the one thing as an adult I still have not been able to learn to like that I really should like. If it were wrapped in bacon, or dipped in Nutella or Ranch dressing, I'd probably eat it). Anyway, back to the story. I held my ground and didn't eat them, and my mother held her ground and didn't let me leave the table until I had eaten them. The rest of the family finished dinner and were excused, and I was alone. They soon returned though, to do the dishes (I was too young for dishes at that time) and everything was cleaned up, except my green beans. The hour struck 9 and I had already missed all the important TV shows on that night (The Disney Sunday Movie).

I came up with a plan. I would stuff all the beans in my mouth and hold them in my cheeks. I would ask to go to the bathroom, and while in the bathroom, spit them out into the toilet. This seemed like a brilliant idea at the time, and just got better and better. I also had really chubby cheeks so I could fit a lot in there. Looking back on it, I was pretty stupid though. Stuffing them in my mouth and holding them there, only left the green bean taste in my mouth last longer. Swallowing the stuff wasn't as bad because there aren't any tastebuds in your stomach. I also think my mom was on to me, but didn't say anything as I asked to be excused. I think she was just impressed that a six year old had come up with a prison technique for smuggling. I was destined for great things in life, let me tell you.

So with that experience, we employed the same tactic to our son Lukas. He couldn't leave the table until he had eaten, well, something. He stuck it out for a good long hour (We were having Tuscan cheese pasta that night, so it wasn't even a gross food.) We had to get a little more severe. So we started confiscating toys. First it was a bouncy ball, then spiderman, then his will to live... his Legos. Tears were shed, but I got over it quick. Lukas on the other hand held firm. Finally, bedtime was threatened. Lukas hates going to bed first, or alone for that matter. This kid doesn't eat or sleep, I don't get how he functions.

So I took him into his room to change his clothes to jammies. At this point he gave up. I was shocked, because he had actually took it to the point of being in bed before conceding. He came out, in jammies, sat on his stool, and allowed me to spoon feed him some pasta. He then exclaimed "I Like It!" Really? Seriously, it's cold pasta now. maybe he was just waiting for the right temperature. Maybe he doesn't like meals hot when they are supposed to be. In that case, he is going to love being a parent, because that happens all the time.

Lukas continued eating, of course I was spoon feeding him, and he kept chanting "I liked it, and so I tried it." a line from Yo-Gabba-Gabba's Broby. It's a little off but it works. He then began singing "There's a party in my tummy, so yummy, so yummy." Thank you DJ Lance for inspiring my kids to eat.

Movies with kids

I just got back from seeing "Man of Steel" sans kids. It was nice to be able to watch the movie without having to pass the popcorn, avoid eating Mollie's popcorn (she doesn't share) and all the other distractions. With that said, here is my advice to all other parents out there thinking about taking there kids to a grown up movie like Man of Steel. DON'T DO IT!

I'm not saying that Man of Steel has any questionable material that kids won't understand. Quite the opposite. There is no vulgarity, no sensuality (only one Kiss, sorry if I ruined the movie) and a whole bunch of good old fashioned good guy vs bad guy fun. It's a great movie, just don't bring your kids, right now. Here's why.

You will ruin the movie for other people. Right now I am in Arkansas for work and I am not sure why but everyone had their cell phones on during the movie. This one girl ahead of us had her phone in her cup holder and kept checking it the whole time. Three ringers went off, during the movie, I kept hearing that text beep all over the place, and a dude even took a picture of his kids during the movie.
And speaking of kids, again, if they can't sit still and quiet with asking minimal questions during a two hour time limit, take them to a show that other adults really don't care to see (like Space Monkeys or something like that).

Again in the theater, there were two girls who would not SHUT UP, around three or four. They kept laughing and talking and swishing their hair back and forth. This would normally be contained by parents, if they were sitting with them. Yep, the parents were sitting in another part of the auditorium and the usher spent about fifteen minutes trying to locate said parents to get them to shut their kids up.

Here's what we do, normally. We wait until the movie is a few months old, sometimes it's even in the dollar theater, sometimes its in the dollar store. Basically Kara and I don't watch movies that we want to watch with the kids. If we get to watch a movie, it's because Grandma has offered to watch the kids and we have snuck out before they have noticed. This basically never happened before we moved, because we would normally have to shell out cash to a babysitter, where at $3 a kid, that's $9 an hour for our babysitter. For dinner and a movie that's close to $40 for a babysitter. Are we overpaying? Probably. Is it worth it? Seriously, $40 for four hours of uninterrupted conversation with my wife? I'd pay that even if we weren't going to a movie. I'd pay that just to go in the other room and sleep for four hours uninterrupted.

On the seldom opportunity that we do bring the kids to a movie, here's how it usually goes down.

We arrive, purchase the tickets at a screaming deal because A: The movie is stupid and no one wants to see it so it's in the dollar theater, B: It's a matinee (we don't take our children out at night. If you've seen the movie Gremlins you understand, or C: It's a great movie and it came out three years ago.

This discount is then negated by the purchase of Candy. Seriously, you could individually wrap the pieces in dollar bills and it would be cheaper than what we pay. And of course popcorn. Popcorn generally runs a minimum of $5, which will get you a sno-cone sized bag. BUT, for $8 more, you can upgrade to a medium, and then it's only like .25 to get a Large, so we order that, and split it among the kids. Mollie of course gets her own bag, sits on my lap, and I am not allowed to have any of hers. If she  sees my hand going toward it, she slaps it away, waves her little grease covered finger at me and says "No no daddy."

If it's a semi-entertaining flick, the kids will sit through it alright, with Lukas needing to go Potty sometime during a crucial part (where like a Pony is about to find out where rainbows come from, something real important) so I miss that. I used to get annoyed at that, but then I found out tonight, oh yeah it happens to me too. During a crucial part in Man of Steel I could not hold it off any longer and I had to go. No drinks for me until I'm 80 and can tactfully wear depends to Movies. Until then, I'm stuck with missing out.

If the movie sucks (which means that Kara and I probably like it, but the kids hate it) the kids (Mollie) will start melting down mid-movie and one of us has to take said child out to run around, or to take a nap in the car. Why they can't nap during the movie is beyond me. I do it all the time during Yo Gabba Gabba. Kara missed half of BRAVE because of Mollie (and Me, because I didn't take her out and it was my turn).

Just avoid the whole situation. This applies to pretty much every activity out there. So be a good neighbor, and don't take your kids to anything where other people are also attending. Just stay inside.

Gummie Bears

My reasons for writing have changed in the last week. I used to write to remember these times fondly and to keep a detailed journal of our time spent. Now I do it mainly to vent. It's a good way to help me cope because whenever the children do something absolutely horrendous, instead of killing them, I just remind myself (this is going to make a hilarious blog post).

So with that in mind, the time out chair has been used an inordinately number of times today. Mollie has been in it twice, Lukas has been in it, and I would love to have a turn. 

We're dealing with some stupid crap about our rental house in Taylorsville as well. Our renter decided to run over all the sprinklers with the lawn mower (the ones that are above ground on the perimiter). So our property manager, after I asked him to get a quote for how much it is going to be, sent in someone to just fix it all, and now I have some landscaping company calling me with a $300 bill, for seven sprinkler heads.

There's that rant. The kids today for some strange reason have been driving me CRAZY! Maybe it's just the build up to Kara being done with the semester, or maybe they are just more insane today than normal. Here's what's happened.

Mollie: Need I say more. The other day Kara bought a JUMBO bag of gummie bears (from Costco I am assuming) and Lukas and his little friend wanted some. They were outside playing, so I got them each a little bowl of them and out they went. Soon Nikki was there with the neighborhood, and so they each got a handful (Still plenty to go around). Then of course, Mollie wanted some. So I got her a little cup of gummie bears and put them back on the counter. I needed to shower. As I am walking to the bathroom I catch Mollie on a stool with her fist in the gummie bear bag. I stop her, and move the gummie bears to a higher shelf. I turn on a show for her on the iPad and head off to shower. 

Leaving her alone was my first mistake. As soon as I am out of the shower I find the iPad abandoned, and Mollie with a makeshift ladder with her fist in the gummie bear bag. She sees me, panics, and begins shoving as many gummie bears as she can into her mouth. 

Nikki has been good.... Today.

Lukas had his little friend over, and basically turned our living room into a toy war zone, which was ok.  

Lunch time. One of our neighbors owed Kara some type of Costco debt so she offered to have Nikki over for Lunch. She even picked up a pizza for us. I offered to pay, but then she brought up the fact that she owed Kara "the costco debt". When I offered to pay, I think she said something like "forgetaboutit". These costco debts are serious.

Mollie during Lunch, I had to stop her several times from feeding her little doll pizza and milk.

Lukas actually ate some food. True it was only like 1/8 of a piece of pizza, but still, more than he usually eats.

The remains of Lunch. The kids together didn't even eat a whole piece. I on the other hand had about 4 pieces.

PS. After I wrote this Mollie got put into the time out chair again.

What to do with Mollie.

Today was one of those days where I felt like I didn't get anything done, but I really did, but it still doesn't make me feel good. I don't know if anyone else has experienced that, but I have, I just did, and I  am still awake from all the Mountain Dew I drank from my drive home from Logan to Provo (had to teach tonight) that I can't sleep. I'm still tired, but awake, so if this gets a little crazy or if I confess to something I shouldn't, don't tell anyone OK.

So this morning was the beginning of the whole issue. Dishes weren't done (from yesterday) Kara was off at school getting edumacated, and all the kids wanted to go outside, Mollie especially. The house needed to be cleaned, Nikki was semi-grounded from outside for playing pranks on her friends, and Lukas was being a little whiney (and when Lukas is whiney, it's like he went back a year and forgot how to do everything, like picking up a cup, going to the bathroom, walking.)

My goal today (this is how I determine if I accomplished anything, is I set goals) was to clean Lukas and Mollie's room. It has fallen into some disrepair as of late, meaning that it was pretty much a disaster. Toys everywhere, clothes on the floor, thankfully no used diapers anywhere (that's one thing I cannot stand) so we began the task. The only problem, Mollie. Well, let's just say, that she likes to "help". Helping for Mollie is a lot like the law of entropy (I learned about this back when I wanted to be a dentist). The law of entropy states that everything is in a constant state of decay, meaning that everything is falling apart, some more slowly than others. Mollie is the catalyst (speeder upper) of the law of entropy. I fold some laundry, she "helps" put it away by grabbing one corner, dragging it to a room (doesn't necessarily have to be the right one) and tossing it in.

I had to do something with Mollie. So I put her in her crib (yes she is still in her crib, and she will stay in her crib until she learns how to escape). In order to make her not scream, I also gave her the iPad. This quieted her down quite quickly. Eventually I got done with Mollie and Lukas's room and moved on to another task, when I realized that the house was quiet... Too quiet. I knew all the kids were in the house because the chain was still on the door, but where were they. Now if you know anything about two years olds, quiet is the most dangerous sound you can hear. But Mollie was in her crib, what could she be into. Then I saw this scene.

Seriously, I couldn't be mad, with the exception that I did think that they might break the crib. 

And just for your viewing pleasure, this is the sky last night while I was driving home from work in Logan.